What is that thing called love ...

They said there are three distinct stages of love; each with their own characteristic emotional profile and scientific explanation.

First is lust. Lust is driven by our sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen. When we're teenagers, just after puberty, estrogen and testosterone become active in our bodies for the first time and create the desire to experience "love." After lust comes attraction. This is the love-struck phase; the time when we lose our appetite, can't sleep, and can't concentrate. This is what we know as falling in love.

When we fall in love, our palms sweat, we can stutter and become breathless, we can't think clearly and it feels like we have butterflies in our stomachs. This is all due to surging brain chemicals called monoamines. They are called dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. Norepinephrine and serotonin excite us, while dopamine makes us feel happy. These love chemicals are controlled by a substance which is also found in chocolate and in strawberries, called PEA or phenylethylamine and it is PEA which controls the transition from lust to love. Similar in structure to amphetamine, PEA too gives us that excitement we crave. The old saying "love is blind" is really accurate in this stage. We are often oblivious to any flaws our partner might have. We idealize them and can't get them off our minds. This overwhelming preoccupation and drive is part of our biology.

The third stage of love is attachment - staying together. Attachment takes over from the attraction stage and is the bond which keeps couples together. After all, we couldn't possibly stay in the attraction stage for ever - we would never get any work done for day dreaming. Two different hormones are important during this phase of love. They are oxytocin and vasopressin.

Oxytocin (the cuddling chemical) not only increases the bond between lovers, but is also one of the chemicals responsible for contractions during childbirth, milk expression when breastfeeding.

Vasopressin is the monogamy chemical. Only about three percent of mammals are monogamous; mating and bonding with one partner for life. Unfortunately, humans are not one of these naturally monogamous animals.

Endorphins are also involved in the longevity of love. Endorphins have the same pain-killing and pleasure-delivering properties as their cousin, morphine, without the risk of overdose.

Umm... so when it comes to choosing our Mr/Mrs Right, are we at the mercy of our subconscious or do we make a more conscious decision? :)