Chapter 5 : Not Giving Up

Once inside the car, she heaved a deep breathe like wanting to make some big announcement.

“Sam…”

I turned and looked at her. Her eyes were downcast and her fingers twirling over the handle of her bag,

“Sam… you are a nice guy. You are ever so helpful and cheerful. You are so nice to everyone.”

“But… we can’t be US. You are just a friend, a working companion for me.” Her voice became so soft and faint that I could hardly hear her but the words still pierced my heart like needles. It was a down right straight rejection. I did not even stand a chance.

I tried to sound cheerful and break the awkwardness by talking loudly. “No worries. You must be tired. Let me send you home. You take a good rest. I just hope you had a good dinner tonight.” I chuckled.

“Yes..I did. It is a wonderful time. Thanks, Sam. Thank you so much.”

The journey back to her home seems so quiet. Both of us were deep in our own thoughts. My hand still warmed from the earlier hands held but my heart was aching.

I pulled the car to a stop.

“Thanks for dinner.” She thanked me again.

“Hey. This is the seventh time you are thanking me. It is nothing. I enjoy your company. It is my privilege. No problem.” I tried to put up a strong smile. “Let me send you up.”

“No. It is ok. It’s just a few steps away. Don’t worry about it.” She replied while shaking her head.

“No. No. I insist to send the lady safely home.” I replied and without waiting for an answer, I proceeded to step out of my car. I walked quietly beside her from the car park, up the stairs and to her doorstep.

She turned and said “Sam, thank…”

“No more thank you. It will be your eighth time” I chuckled.

She laughed and smiled broadly “Good night. Drive safely.”

I like it this way. I like it that she cares for me even as a friend. I like to hear her wishing me goodnight and to ask me to drive safely. The warm of her voice gushed into my veins and energized me so much. I smiled back and wished her good night and sweet dreams.

As I walked back into my car and on my way back, my mind was full of her, our dinner and my confession. My confession definitely sucks. I believe the stars above must be laughing away with my silly confession but it is my most honest confession and I have no regrets.

The whole night I turned and tossed in bed. I hardly slept a wink. I could not stop and I could not help thinking about her, about us. I don’t want to give up…. I am not going to give up….

To be cont.